My StoryFeb 20, 2021
I was still in college, 21 years old, getting married that day to a guy I was comfortable with. I still thought the meaning of life had to do with working a "normal" job, having a house and family and time to do what you actually like to do on the weekends. They never mention chores, do they?
I didn't have any of that. I had stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and depression.
But I knew I liked organic food so I started volunteering at the local food co-op. My husband joined me, and he even spent time with my newfound friends, who reminded me more of my insides than anyone I'd ever met before. My husband didn't like hanging with these people, but God bless him for exploring, right?
April something, 2008
I started taking Yoga Teacher training. O.M.G. - I started speaking a language I never knew I knew. That's the only way I can describe it. THIS stuff made sense to me! I didn't even know the other stuff wasn't making sense to me, and that it was the reason for all the stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and depression. I just thought something was wrong with me. (Can you relate)?
I graduated teacher training, but I believe I'd started teaching in July. I started holding space for people just like me--People who knew intrinsically that there was more to life than the mundane Minnesota reality we had wound ourselves up in. All of a sudden, at just 26 years old, I realized that I impact people in a way that improves their lives, and in so doing, improve the whole world! What's that saying about a butterfly flapping its wings over here and causing an earthquake in China? (Actually, I think that's the saying).
Because I learned that everything is energy, I studied Reiki. Let's be real, I knew everything was energy, it's just that no one explained that to me. (Again, can you relate)? I started holding an even more intimate space for people to release what is untrue and re-member what is real, their light, their purity, their huge hearts of gold--just like yours.
I've seen so many people reawaken to who they really are. This is when peace rises up from within. This is when the things that are important to you seem to magically appear. This is when you start to meet the people you came here to meet, learn the things you came here to learn, and love yourself--all the way. I've seen so many people walk into my life and walk out improved because they interacted with me. There is absolutely nothing more that I can ask of life. And the truth is, when you reawaken to your true, boundless essence, you'll realize you've been doing this same work all along.
February 2010 (Might have been January, not sure)
I went deeper. I kept seeking. And it got me all sorts of confused! I had jobs, but they didn't feel like me. I tried pushing yoga into corporate businesses in conservative, narrow-minded, central Minnesota, but that felt forced. I felt pretty lost even as I felt excited about this new way of being I'd discovered. So I had a psychic reading from someone I'd met at a yogi gathering, and she told me about Kundalini Yoga. Oh gosh, thats a whole other story! I had known about it, but I was pursuing hatha yoga due to my recent training. She was pretty adamant that Kundalini was what people needed, so I bought a couple books.
The first book arrived and I simply couldn't even believe that something could resonate so deeply with me. "Where has this been all my life?" is the exact feeling.
So I signed up for a Kundalini Yoga teacher training.
I had become more and more myself. My husband and I were still married, but vibrationally we weren't even close. One day he said, "If I didn't love you we would be separated by now." When your vibration raises, the vibration of those around you raises too. That means, some of those people will not be around you anymore.
We got divorced. In September I took a car full of my stuff and headed to Ashland, Oregon to start fresh. No plan, no job, no friends, just me and my own energy. Have you felt, truly felt, your own energy, just yours with no one else's? It's magnificent!! (If you haven't felt that way, maybe you're reading this for a bigger reason - spirit has its ways).
I learned so much about myself in Ashland that I cannot tell you here. Maybe a book is coming. Not sure. I'd rather hold space for you in other ways right now--a blog, podcast and 1:1 sessions. << I suppose all of that lends itself to a book in the making, doesn't it, now that I see it.
Anyway, back to. I learned A LOT in Ashland. I learned to sing, and to use my voice to express my truth. I learned that it doesn't really matter what others think--follow your soul and you'll be okay. I learned that the soul knows the way. I learned that you can change yor situation when you change your focus. I learned that it's the feeling state you want, not the thing you think will give it to you. I learned when you feel the way you think the thing you want will make you feel, things that make you feel that way come to you. You dont even have to work for it! I learned that I don't have to apply for jobs because if and when I need them, they show up for me. Why? Because I vibrate stability, even if my thoughts are going crazy. My subconscious is looping on "I'm stable." Therefore, I always am, no matter the outward appearance. Like that period of time when I suppose you could say I was homeless. I never didn't have a place to sleep - in a house - though. I knew there are always opportunities, and all it takes is one to be a match, and I always had that match. I learned to trust the universe to take care of me as long as I trusted it would. And it did, and it does. Too much to write here, but I still held space. Thats my natural gift. Yoga, massage, energy healing. That's a lot of space to hold. And I wouldn't have had it any other way.
Now I was living my best life. I loved my life in Ashland. But things started to stop working. I wasn't making the money had I been, I was cutting into savings and actually had to take a loan out against my car. I had the realization that I might actually have to live in my car for awhile, and I was okay with that.
Then one day in August came and I had a realization. I had learned about Ashland at my first Yoga teacher training. Someone told me I'd love it, that people go there, learn what they need to learn, and then leave. I thought to myself, "Okay, I'm either going to ground down and make my business work here in Ashland, or it's time to leave."
BOOM. That was it. Oh my god, it was time for me to go.
Let's just say the path was paved. In 2014 I took a backpack and guitar on a one-way flight to the only island my body would allow me to fly to--Oahu. This was a HUGE cliff. I had no job, plan, home, or connections, very little money--especially considering it would be eaten up by rent and deposit--if I even had enough for that. All I had was a knowing in my bones that my soul said, "Let's go," and I wasn't going to deny my Soul her privilege of leading me on. So, sick as a dog, disgusting cold sore on my lip, voice lost due to laryngitis, I got on that plane and landed on the island I still call home.
There's a lot to this story, too. Remember how previously I mentioned that I vibrate stability? I was led to a stable home, job, and even boyfriend. I mean, the stability of having a boyfriend, I'm not going to go so far as to say he was stable.
I'm still on Oahu. I'm no longer at that stable job. Did I tell you I get bored pretty easily? I'm not sure about the relationship, to be honest, at this point, and I'll probably have to come back and edit this to keep it up to date with what went down.
*Edit* We are getting divorced. It is not easy. We are not on the same page, and I hopelessly desire his freedom from pain. But not at the expense of my freedom. Now I am sharing resources for people-pleasers in recovery. I'm here to support you, to guide you, to coach you, to remind you that you are worthy of what you want. *End Edit*
I seemed to try this outwardly-looking stable life for awhile, and for awhile, it was great! And then my soul started to nudge me, harder and harder. And now I'm here, doing what I can to help you transform your life because you deserve everything you desire.
Don't let them say something else. You deserve what you desire. Do you know why I know this? Because I know you desire a world built on love. Love. Not affection, not attachment, not compromise. Love. Real, love, which is truth. That's why I want you to soar.
That is why I am here, doing what I'm doing. I want to let you know how important and significant you are in this world. I want to help you put yourself out there because it's not easy when you've been shunned or shut out for so long. I want to help you love your tech, your website, the way you connect with your fans--which, when you start to share your soul, you will have if you don't yet. Why? Because everyone is yearning to listen to their own souls. Be a model for them to follow.
Where's your energy? Where are you focused? Do you know that you can reprogram your subonscious mind so you can be free of the past?
Are you ready? Here's a free download of 10 common Limiting Programs and Re-writes for them, and how you can use them.
Step out of your cage. Your soul is free. Your soul is boundless. Always was, always will be.
Thank you, so much, for Being Boundless with me,
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